The Story of How We Got The Squirmy Model

When Daddy and I decided we wanted a baby, we put in our order. We checked off the qualities we wanted our child to have:

Girl or boy? Boy.
Smart? Check.
Handsome? Check.
Slightly mischievous? Check.
Good sense of humor? Check.
Good imagination? Check.

Dirty blonde hair, blue eyes, a supertaster would be acceptable, must like cars, and so on down the list. It took us, like, a week to agree on everything.

We finished filling out the form and sent it in along with our deposit, which was like $80 or something.

A few weeks later we got a call from the baby people. They explained that for the date range we wanted our baby to arrive, they did have a smart, handsome boy with a good imagination who would have all the characteristics we wanted, but -- all they had left were Squirmy models.

What was a Squirmy model? we asked.

The lady, I think her name was Louise, explained that Squirmy meant that he'd be more active than some of the other models, like "Quiet" and "Calm."

We didn't think that sounded so bad, after all, we like to walk and take trips and do things, so we told her that seemed OK.

Then she said that the handsomest, smartest, funniest one of all was only available in Extra-Squirmy.

What's Extra-Squirmy mean? we asked, starting to get a little worried about whether this squirmy business might be hard to deal with.

"It just means he's a little more active, that's all," she reassured us, "think of it like the Border Collie of kids."

Now, we knew that Bordie Collies are beautiful dogs, active and alert and smart. So we told her yes, that was the one we wanted.

Well. We didn't know what we were gonna get!

It turns out that the Extra-Squirmy baby HAD to be upright at all times when he was awake. And he didn't nap much, either.

He always wanted new stimulation. He NEVER sat still. And that's still true 6 years later.

And we wouldn't trade our Squirmy model for any other kid in the galaxy.